Spiritual Poise

If you want to sum up poise in a single image, then think no further than Jackie O. As a style icon par excellence, she effortlessly combined an individualistic fashion sense with great presence and an air of mystery. She looked like a woman in control of her life and most certainly in control of her wardrobe. While she was definitely a winner in the style stakes, the public persona of a woman who sailed through life in total composure was an illusion. Two womanising husbands, family tragedies and the worst case of Olympic-standard shopaholism ever recorded can attest to that. Yet even so, Jackie O endures through the decades, along with Audrey Hepburn, as an iconic figure of feminine grace.

It’s necessary to go back in time to a more innocent era to be able to capture the concept of poise, because it gets so little air time in modern life. Latter-day celebrities are more likely to be pictured falling (literally) out of nightclubs, displaying their surgically-enhanced assets or making indelicate hand-signals at photographers, rather than stepping nonchalantly off yachts in immaculate couture or popping down to Tiffany’s for a quick breakfast sporting an up-do and pearls. What I’m feeling nostalgic for is not the kind of manic self-control that demands that everything is perfect, but the air of composure those women conveyed. They definitely had it going on.

We know what outer composure looks like, but rarely do we see living examples of inner composure in action. You’ll know them when you do – they’re people who have made their own inner compass the authority, not the outside world. They take the steps they need to take to create the lives they want and make no apologies for doing so. They are comfortable in their own skin and because they are, they can be generous with others. They are less concerned with the opinions of others than meeting their own internal standards. They have a sense of meaning and purpose in life and possess that rarest of commodities – spiritual poise.

The short answer to how you invoke that quality in yourself is by developing your faith in a positive direction. We all have faith, it’s just a matter of where we’re placing it. Perhaps the most simple illustration of this comes from the author of Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway, Susan Jeffers, who writes “Security isn’t about having things, it’s knowing you can handle things.” When you place faith in yourself, rather than the outer world, that’s when you can begin to command spiritual poise. When you have faith in yourself, you know you can rise to the challenge, whatever comes your way. What gives you faith in yourself is learning to trust your own inner guidance.

Caroline Myss, author of Invisible Acts of Power, teaches extensively on the practice of intuition. She describes the path of self-mastery and inner guidance as a sacred one, noting “Learning to manage your personal power means that you have to become aware of how you work with your energy and whom you give it to … It’s also about how much you are willing to surrender to divine guidance, which often comes to you in the guise of inner intuition. By finding your inner compass and acting on its promptings, you come into your full power and fulfil the life mission you were born to complete. I call this mission your sacred contract and it includes not just the daily work you do, but every relationship you have and every person you meet, everyone you help and everyone who helps you.”

She has observed that we are all intuitive, but that it is self-delusion that blocks our reception of intuition, rather than any lack of inherent skill. Caroline adds, “The main thing that I stress with my students is that they – you – are already intuitive. But you have to open yourself to the messages that you are receiving. Many people resist hearing the messages their intuition sends them, often because they don’t want to deal with the changes that they would have to make if they listened and acted on the guidance.”

Simply put, rather like small children, if we don’t like what we hear, we just put our fingers in our ears and pretend it’s not happening. How often has that happened in your own life? How many times have you known you needed to take a bold step, give up something or part company with someone, but you’ve ignored your inner promptings? When you look back, where in your life can you see that something was on the cards, but you just wouldn’t admit it? This delving into the past is not for the purpose of beating yourself up over lost opportunities, but for recognising that your intuition has been trying to guide you. Those things can’t be changed, but the gift is that you definitely had the guidance – and that’s undeniable.

Now that you know for sure that your inner wisdom is on tap, take a look at what it’s telling you about your current circumstances. What are the niggling thoughts and impulses that you’ve not been paying attention to? Who or what needs to be in your life or out of it? Where in your life do you already have the answer, but are resisting doing what’s necessary?

Listening to your intuition – and acting on it – will build faith in yourself and strengthen your confidence. As Caroline Myss says, “Faith is an active force – not a passive one – an invisible power, like love. It is not simply a belief in goodness, it is a belief put into action in the present moment. In the ancient Hindu belief system, faith also conveys protection, by giving us trust and confidence in the rightness of what we are doing. Faith enables us to have a positive attitude and hope even in the face of seemingly irreversible setbacks.”

When you have faith, you don’t just have a superficial air of composure, you are radiant with the unmistakeable grace of someone who has soul. It’s mysterious, powerful and a joy to behold – that’s the fabulous art of spiritual poise.

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All material © 2006 Alison Porter. No article may be reproduced in full or in part without the express permission of the author. (Originally posted 24 Apr 06)