Curiously – particularly as I Am Fabulous was born out of a bottle of prosecco – and without any rhyme or reason, I find myself on the wagon. It started about a month ago after a bit of a fizz-fuelled evening. I’d been doing quite a bit of meditation at the time and was feeling pretty in tune. Then I managed to throw myself a curve ball with the rather injudicious application of a large quantity of alcohol. To be honest, it wasn’t a major decision to never drink again, but I just didn’t like how it had made me feel. So here I am, four weeks later, still somewhat surprised by the turn of events, but finding abstinence very easy to uphold.
That’s the odd part. Every time I’ve tried to give up something before, it’s always been a bit of a battle. Yet, when the time is right, the bad habits just slip away without any effort. The same thing happened when I struggled to give up smoking many, many moons ago. I tried everything – cutting down, scare tactics, ear acupuncture, even smoking menthols because I loathed them, which only resulted in a big-time St Moritz habit for a few years. Even when I managed to give up for brief periods through sheer grit and will-power, I would still crave cigarettes. Then, one day – again during a period when I was doing a lot of meditation practice and feeling more in tune – I got up in the morning, smoked the one cigarette I had left, thought to myself that I really didn’t enjoy it, and decided to give up. I never smoked again and never wanted to either.
This time, it’s less of a conscious decision, but it seems to be working beautifully. I have absolutely no desire for alcohol and find it really easy to say no when others keep asking me to join them in a drink. I don’t feel deprived or that I’m missing out on anything. I do suspect that I shall fall off the wagon at some point, but for now it suits me and I’m very happy with the way things are – I’m enjoying my current clarity and all the other benefits that come from dropping that particular indulgence, such as improved sleep and a bit of weight loss to boot. Can’t be bad, can it?
So here’s my theory of the week – when we are in resonance with our higher purpose, what no longer matches that will naturally fall away. Take this ‘on the wagon’ business, for example. I didn’t set out with that intention, but having put a lot of energy into working on my own personal purpose and spiritual focus lately, I’m noticing how the things that do not resonate with that are simply dropping out of my life. Consider it the ‘spin cycle’ of personal development – when you make a personal shift, what’s around you either shifts with you or gets cast out of your orbit.
Try it for yourself. While I was working on a spring feature for the rather fabulous women’s site http://www.ivillage.co.uk/ this week, I came across the idea of taking an ‘addiction break’. That’s where you pick an addiction like coffee, cigarettes or booze and replace it with a healthy option like fresh juice, walking or swimming. You can do it for a day, a week or a month. At the end of the experiment, you just might like how you feel enough to make it permanent.
Super-charge the change by linking the ‘addiction break’ to something positive you want to create for yourself, like focusing on a health goal or finding more personal clarity so you can up the ante on your career or life purpose. Spend time daily immersing yourself in the positive feelings that this new focus gives you. When you genuinely enjoy making a change, there’s no will-power required.
Never underestimate the power of clarity. As Marianne Williamson says in her book, The Gift Of Change, “I’ve noticed in myself that if something small and ultimately meaningless has gone wrong – I can’t find a file I left on top of my desk, my daughter failed to do what I asked her to do before going to a friend’s house – I can easily get rattled. But if someone calls to inform me of a serious difficulty – someone has been in an accident or a child is in trouble – I notice a profound stillness come over me as I focus on the problem.
“In the former case, my temptation to become frantic does not attract solutions, but rather hinders them. There is nothing in my personal energy that invites help from others, nor do I have the clarity to think through what I need to do next. In the latter case, however, all of my energy goes toward a higher level of problem-solving: my heart is in service of others and my mind is focused and clear. When I am at the effect of the problem, I become part of the problem. When I am centred within myself, I become part of the solution.”
Become part of your own personal solution this week, by dropping whatever gets in the way of finding clarity on your own purpose. For a little extra help, HarperCollins have generously made the full edition of The Gift of Change: Spiritual Guidance For Living Your Best Life available to read online for the next 30 days at:
For the Coach Fabulous archives, go to www.coachfabulous.blogspot.com and for the I Am Fabulous archives, go to www.fabcentral.blogspot.com. You can email me at coachfabulous@iamfabulous.co.uk. All material ©2008 Alison Porter. No article may be reproduced in full or in part without the express permission of the author. (Originally posted 31 Mar 08)
No comments:
Post a Comment