Monday, October 13, 2008

On Not Having A Plan


The past few days really have been fabulous. I’ve learned that when serendipity starts to get to work in life, the best thing to do is settle back and enjoy the ride, because you have no idea where you’re going to end up. I’m writing this looking out at a Turkish sunset, enjoying the delicious sense of spontaneity that has brought me here and reawoken my desire to live as free of plans, diaries and agendas as possible.

This possibility wasn’t even on the cards even as recently as a couple of weeks ago, but a casual conversation has turned into a commission to write a holiday brochure and so, voila, here I am. Sometimes life conspires to throw you a little treat after a series of curveballs, so I’m relishing mine. OK, it’s still work, but believe me researching gorgeous little boutique hotels and harbourside tea gardens isn’t the most arduous task I’ve ever come across.

The relaxed Mediterranean way of life has always been a huge draw for me – it’s life on a human scale, less structured and completely unhurried. Add a dose of sunshine, the blazing colours of fuschia bouganvillea against the blue Mediterranean, and feasting on fabulous fresh food and that’s my definition of heaven. Not only that, but I’m on a curious trip down memory lane, as this quiet corner of Turkey is oddly full of Australian native plants and trees, so I’m surrounded by the red hibiscus flowers and lilac jacaranda trees of my childhood, while the rugged coastline and rocky hills remind me of the years I spent in southern Spain.

What both those places had in common was an enormous amount of freedom and spontaneity. I’ve lived in London so long now that I’ve forgotten what life is like without a diary. At home dropping in to see people unannounced is as natural as chucking a few prawns on the barbie and the Spanish culture famously runs on its own time scale and largely freewheels without any particular sense of planning.

Being here has reminded me that the greatest pleasures in life always come from the things you don’t plan. Whenever I look back to the most fun times I’ve had, they’ve usually been brought about by some quirky turn of events and are made even more delicious by the fact that they somehow just dropped into your lap.

I think a sudden burst of serendipity is the universe’s sneaky way of reminding us when we’re in danger of entering way too far into the control freak end of the spectrum. Think about it – if you have everything mapped out, where’s the space for surprises, fun and the joy of following where your intuition or opportunity takes you? Winging it might be scary, but it’s the only way to fly. It reminds me of the poem by Christopher Logue, often attributed to Apollinaire – Come to the edge. We might fall. Come to the edge. It’s too high! Come to the edge! And they came, and he pushed, and they flew … If we don’t ever take a risk, we’ll never get out of the nest.

The circumstances of life do normally demand that we conform to set timetables – let’s face it you’d never get in a decent London restaurant on a weekend without a reservation, so total spontaneity does have to take a nose dive for very practical reasons – but there are plenty of ways we can shake up our lives to create more freedom and space for serendipity to enter.

For that glorious sense of spontaneity and synchronicity to work its magic, you need to be available for grace to enter your life and that’s a very good question to ask yourself – is there any space in the way you’ve constructed your life for chance, luck, opportunity or pure grace to enter and bring you a gift?

Curiously enough, with this particular job, when I first met the person who introduced me to the holiday company, I had a strong intuition to mention that I did copywriting. At the time I didn’t say anything, because I hate promoting myself – it’s an occupational hazard for publicists: we’ll happily do that all day long for other people but loathe doing it for ourselves – so, although we met a couple of times, I didn’t mention it. The third time, though, fate intervened and someone else at the meeting suggested we should talk and it turned out he knew someone who was looking for a copywriter. I was lucky in this instance, because opportunity doesn’t always bash your door down, but the story does show that grace is just waiting to enter, if only we would be receptive.

OK, over to you – time to take a look at your life and see how you can make some space to just relax. Are your plans sapping the spontaneity out of your life? Where might you be doing things out of habit rather than because you really want to? Is the structure of your life supporting you or making you feel trapped? What small changes could you make that would allow you the time to simply be peaceful and unhurried?

For this week’s challenge, you’ll need to awaken your sense of adventure. Drop as many regular plans as you possibly can and enlist your friends to join you in exploring some open horizons. Try something you’ve never done before, sneak out for coffee even when your to-do list is endless, make time to watch the sunset or get a bunch of people together for an impromptu lunch and – most importantly – never, ever feel guilty for doing nothing. It’s the ‘nothing’ time that’s the most creative and that’s where you’ll do your best thinking without even trying.

If you want to try a new mantra, start with the thought “I’m available for grace”. Say that to yourself as many times a day as you can remember. Give it your best shot and who knows where you might end up by the time the week is over … it worked for me!

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All material © 2006 Alison Porter. No article may be reproduced in full or in part without the express permission of the author. (Originally posted 17 Oct 06)

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