We live in crazy times. Most days I tend to ignore that fact, but then something bizarre rises up and slaps you about the head and shoulders until you finally have to accept that frenetic behaviour is now the norm. We don’t seem to be capable of simply sitting still for even a few minutes – read moments for some people – without desperately seeking some form of outside entertainment. A friend of mine, Robert Holden, calls this modern phenomenon the ‘manic society’.
When I first heard that term I could see that we all seem to be frantically busy and overwhelmed with emails and mobiles – busy, but not necessarily productive – yet there’s a whole other layer of mania developing that I’d not witnessed before. Culturally, we are developing into a society of people utterly incapable of simply being still. Let’s face it, who among us doesn’t start sending texts when we have a few idle moments at the restaurant table when our friends are all congregating outside for a quick nicotine hit? They might only be gone a couple of minutes, but we’re nervous of even a few moments alone with our thoughts.
While that might be what passes for normal behaviour these days, this week I saw something that quite alarmingly demonstrates just how deep this aversion to dealing with our own thoughts actually can be. On a routine trip to the doctor’s surgery, flipping idly through the traditional selection of ancient fashion magazines with curled edges and strategically missing pages, my reverie was disturbed by the unmistakeable sound of a computer booting up. Assuming that there was no way anyone would bring a laptop to a doctor’s surgery, I figured this had to be just another new kind of ringtone. This assumption appeared to be borne out by the sound of a woman droning away on a business call on her mobile, directly under the sign which politely requested all visitors to the surgery to turn their phones off.
Mildly annoyed at her lack of courtesy and bored by looking at out-of-date fashion pics, I decided to just sit quietly with my thoughts. A man sat down opposite me as I closed my eyes and, with the droning woman as a faint hum in the background, I managed to grab a few moments of peacefulness. Then came a sound that can only be described as what I imagine a gorilla would sound like if given free rein to pound away on a keyboard. I glanced up to see the man across from me bashing away at his laptop as if he were trying to beat it into submission. Blinking in disbelief, I looked to my right and there was the woman pecking away at the keyboard on her computer in a gingerly fashion, her typing facility somewhat impeded by her 2-inch nails. I was in the midst of duelling laptops – in stereo.
Now, if I lived in New York, that might be acceptable behaviour, but a doctor’s surgery in west London – are you kidding me? Since when have we been so alienated from our own inner world that we’ve become incapable of sitting in a room without a laptop for the few minutes it takes to wait for your doctor’s appointment? That really scares me way more than the mobile/text thing. Occupying yourself with a phone is opportunistic – you already have it, so it’s an easy distraction. Lugging a laptop into a surgery is a major statement that you feel you have to occupy every single available moment in order to feel worthy. Very, very scary.
So what would I rather they do? Quite frankly, pretty much nothing. Allow a few random thoughts in. Look around them. Muse on an idea they’re developing. Check out other people’s style. Maybe not even think at all. Yeah, I know that’s a tall order, because our manic minds love to be occupied, so here are a few suggestions to occupy you in the bank queue, while waiting for the bus or as an alternative to the vintage mags at the doc’s:
· Get a moment of peace by closing your eyes and simply focusing on your breath as it goes in and out over your upper lip. When your mind wanders, return it to that sensation of feeling the air go in and out. This is a simple relaxation/meditation technique to use when you need a quick burst of tranquillity.
When I first heard that term I could see that we all seem to be frantically busy and overwhelmed with emails and mobiles – busy, but not necessarily productive – yet there’s a whole other layer of mania developing that I’d not witnessed before. Culturally, we are developing into a society of people utterly incapable of simply being still. Let’s face it, who among us doesn’t start sending texts when we have a few idle moments at the restaurant table when our friends are all congregating outside for a quick nicotine hit? They might only be gone a couple of minutes, but we’re nervous of even a few moments alone with our thoughts.
While that might be what passes for normal behaviour these days, this week I saw something that quite alarmingly demonstrates just how deep this aversion to dealing with our own thoughts actually can be. On a routine trip to the doctor’s surgery, flipping idly through the traditional selection of ancient fashion magazines with curled edges and strategically missing pages, my reverie was disturbed by the unmistakeable sound of a computer booting up. Assuming that there was no way anyone would bring a laptop to a doctor’s surgery, I figured this had to be just another new kind of ringtone. This assumption appeared to be borne out by the sound of a woman droning away on a business call on her mobile, directly under the sign which politely requested all visitors to the surgery to turn their phones off.
Mildly annoyed at her lack of courtesy and bored by looking at out-of-date fashion pics, I decided to just sit quietly with my thoughts. A man sat down opposite me as I closed my eyes and, with the droning woman as a faint hum in the background, I managed to grab a few moments of peacefulness. Then came a sound that can only be described as what I imagine a gorilla would sound like if given free rein to pound away on a keyboard. I glanced up to see the man across from me bashing away at his laptop as if he were trying to beat it into submission. Blinking in disbelief, I looked to my right and there was the woman pecking away at the keyboard on her computer in a gingerly fashion, her typing facility somewhat impeded by her 2-inch nails. I was in the midst of duelling laptops – in stereo.
Now, if I lived in New York, that might be acceptable behaviour, but a doctor’s surgery in west London – are you kidding me? Since when have we been so alienated from our own inner world that we’ve become incapable of sitting in a room without a laptop for the few minutes it takes to wait for your doctor’s appointment? That really scares me way more than the mobile/text thing. Occupying yourself with a phone is opportunistic – you already have it, so it’s an easy distraction. Lugging a laptop into a surgery is a major statement that you feel you have to occupy every single available moment in order to feel worthy. Very, very scary.
So what would I rather they do? Quite frankly, pretty much nothing. Allow a few random thoughts in. Look around them. Muse on an idea they’re developing. Check out other people’s style. Maybe not even think at all. Yeah, I know that’s a tall order, because our manic minds love to be occupied, so here are a few suggestions to occupy you in the bank queue, while waiting for the bus or as an alternative to the vintage mags at the doc’s:
· Get a moment of peace by closing your eyes and simply focusing on your breath as it goes in and out over your upper lip. When your mind wanders, return it to that sensation of feeling the air go in and out. This is a simple relaxation/meditation technique to use when you need a quick burst of tranquillity.
· Go on what Esther Hicks and Abraham call a ‘Rampage of Appreciation’. Start listing what you appreciate about your life right now and what you’ve really enjoyed in the past. It’ll really perk up your energy, leaving you feeling happy with what you have.
· Pick a quality that you’d like to have more of in your life – for example peace, joy, love or creativity – and try to focus for a couple of minutes on what your life would be like if you had more of that. This helps to build mental focus and elevate your mood.
· For a confidence boost, do a quick success blast from the past. Think of as many times as you can where you’ve achieved something, got a job you really wanted, had a project well received or got together with the person of your dreams. Focusing on how you’ve done well improves your self-image and self-confidence.
This week, give yourself some down time. Stop trying to occupy every waking moment. Resist the temptation to send a text or an email rather than sit with your own thoughts. Muse a little. Turn off the iPod and find out what thoughts are lurking in your own mind. Look around you. See what inspiration you can draw from your surroundings. Smell the coffee. Breathe deeply. Be present in your own life.
For the Coach Fabulous archives, go to www.coachfabulous.blogspot.com and for the I Am Fabulous archives, go to www.fabcentral.blogspot.com. You can email me at coachfabulous@iamfabulous.co.uk. All material ©2008 Alison Porter. No article may be reproduced in full or in part without the express permission of the author. (Originally posted 28 Apr 08)
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