Living gracefully is an attitude of mind and a function of the heart. When you’re living gracefully, you’re living your purpose with joy, compassion and soulfulness, feeling a deep connection to life. Now that’s something fabulous to aspire to for 2008, isn’t it?Let’s just drop the whole resolution/perfectionism drama and go for living authentically in the coming year. All that striving is just too anti-fab. Let this year be one of perceiving and receiving, of paying attention to what works in your life and letting go of the rest. Find your own personal definition of happiness this year – there is no ‘one size fits all’ formula for it, no matter how hard we try to find one.
The author of Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, Mihaly Csikszentmihaly, notes that “Happiness, in fact, is a condition that must be prepared for, cultivated, and determined privately by each person.” He goes on to add that “People who learn to control inner experience will be able to determine the quality of their lives, which is as close as any of us come to being happy.”
An inner-directed life is one of flow, spontaneity and receptivity, where we stay awake to what brings us joy and a sense of purpose. An outer-directed life is one where we feel we have little control over our circumstances and allow outer events to drive our inner experience. For most of us, life is generally outer-directed or an experience of ricocheting between that and flashes of inner direction and flow. To gain any sustained sense of happiness, it takes a conscious choice to place more value on inner experience than outer circumstance. If you want to enter the flow, you must opt to create your own sense of values, leaving behind what the world tells you will make you happy. You need to find what makes you truly feel alive.
The foremost Buddhist scholar in the West, Robert Thurman, makes the point of inner-direction abundantly clear, saying “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do that. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive.” As I’m writing this, I realise I saw the same sentiment in the film Shall We Dance?, where Richard Gere secretly takes up ballroom dancing to reignite passion in his life. He’s afraid to tell his wife that, despite having success and all the material things in life, he’s still not happy.
Let’s be clear, this is not about avoiding the material life or trying abstain from participating in the physical world. It’s simply about placing it in perspective. Live by your own lights and choose to indulge what pleases you, rather than making ‘stuff’ your goal. We all know that stuff doesn’t do it for us on anything but a momentary basis. Fleeting experiences are fun, but not the staple diet you need if you want to sustain a sense of joy and purpose.
When it comes to the work of finding what really makes our heart sing, it helps to know what your natural leanings are when it comes to the inner terrain. Joan Borysenko, a Harvard Medical School scientist and psychologist, has written a guide to mystic traditions entitled 7 Paths To God, which offers insights into the varying ways we find our connection to divinity, spirituality and life itself. By discovering which of these paths you’re most drawn to, you can then explore the practices on that path to help you get in touch with your inner wisdom and passion.
She describes the first path as the Everyday Mystic, “who sees the Creator in every bush and tree, in the gifts of food and shelter, in nurturing and in the fulfilment of the needs of everyday life”. Traditions and practices to explore on this path can include yoga, shamanism, Native American wisdom, Wicca, or simply spending time in nature and focusing on gratitude.
In the second path, the focus is on Creativity and Abundance, where “male and female aspects join. The key to Path Two is generosity of spirit – being secure enough in ourselves that we can receive from God and give to others in a way that encourages both of us to bring forth our creative gifts.” Practices honouring creativity and the balance of male and female be found in Taoism, Tantra, artistic expression (music, dance, writing, painting) and mentoring.
The third path is the Passion To Serve, “where fire fuels our dreams and gives us the stamina to fulfil them … The basic question for Path Three mystics is ‘Whom do I serve?’ … If we serve ourselves to the exclusion of all others, we fall into spiritual peril and are likely to add chaos, rather than creativity, to the universe. If we serve the world we use our potential as co-creators with God.” Practices to explore on this path are found in humanitarian and visionary causes.
The Way of The Heart is the fourth path, is best described as “when we see with the eyes of the heart, we can worship God within every person … Path Four mystics such as Mother Teresa bring about heaven on earth through love.” In the Hindu tradition, this is known as bhakti yoga, or the way of devotion. Buddhist practices on the fourth path include Metta or loving-kindness meditation. This is the path of compassion and open-heartedness.
On the fifth path, the focus is on Discipline, Ethics and Will. “The Ten Commandments, like the Buddhist precepts for living and the Hindu system of raja yoga, provide template for using our human will to live in accordance with the divine will.” Practices for Path Five mystics include following moral and ethical guidelines in kind and compassionate ways.
Contemplation and Transformation are the watchwords of the sixth path. “This is often accomplished by undergoing a dark night of the soul, like the Buddha, when our old life is left behind and we enter a period of wandering or searching before the sun of enlightenment arises.” This path is linked with intuition, dreams and visions, as well as deep meditation and contemplation.
The seventh path is one of where “Our faith is an important determiner of openness to Spirit. The nature of our faith develops and changes throughout the lifecycle, through the dark nights of the soul when we are challenged to transform, and through the work we do on the different paths. Eventually we have the faith to recognise that grace is a paradox; apparently wonderful events can curb our growth, while devastating events may spur it. We then receive the higher grace of non-attachment.” On this path, there is an openness to all practices which bring a deeper communion with self and with Spirit, as well as a commitment to living the qualities of kindness, creativity and compassion.
You will have already seen that there are many crossovers between the pathways and that none of us are exclusively one thing or another – ultimately we will embody all seven paths. However, it is helpful to explore first the ones that we are most drawn to naturally. For example, some of us may prefer to have firm spiritual guidelines like those set out in Path Five or we may delight in the exploration of our own creativity and spirituality through Path Two. Whatever your natural path is, be sure that it will bring you joy. If it’s not something that lifts your spirit, it’s not your path.
This year, open to the grace of exploration and allow life to bring you some surprises. Pay attention to your thoughts and remember to focus them on what makes you feel alive and what you want to draw into your life. Doreen Virtue, the author of a number of books on angels and spirituality, says that 2008 resonates to the number one, meaning “your thoughts are instantly manifesting into form”. If that’s the case, it’s more important than ever to live an inner-directed, spiritually-powerful life. Be your fabulous authentic self in 2008!
In the spirit of exploration and co-creation, comments are now enabled on I Am Fabulous, so feel free to add your own impressions on the theme of the week, as well as any comments or suggestions. Let’s build a community of shared wisdom and make I Am Fabulous a resource where we can all use our creativity to inspire others.
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All material © 2008 Alison Porter. No article may be reproduced in full or in part without the express permission of the author. (Originally posted 1 Jan 08)
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