Private Worlds


Scratch the surface on anyone and sooner or later you’ll hear a tale of insecurity and lack of self-worth that will just crack your heart wide open. In the past week I’ve heard some fabulous, vibrant, gorgeous people talk about themselves in ways that are so distant from the truth that it’s shocking to contemplate.

This is the result of a lifetime of self-abuse, of regarding themselves as fundamentally lacking in some way. We all do it and it’s just horrific. A young, slim woman full of energy and life sees herself as overweight and unattractive. A tall, good-looking man thinks he’s too fat – despite no evidence of even an ounce of flab – to risk having a relationship. Have we all gone mad?
We’re living in these private worlds that can be hell on earth unless we’re willing to open up to a new way of thinking and a willingness to accept ourselves as we are, right here, right now. There’s no point waiting for the day that you’re perfect so your life can begin. Here’s a clue – you’ll never be perfect, so you’re doomed to wait forever before you can give yourself permission to get on with an imperfect life. Enough already – be willing to be OK with who you are today or kiss your chance at happiness goodbye.

As they say in the Blues Brothers, I’m on a mission from God. My mission – and I choose to accept it – is to eradicate this absolute nonsense about the way we perceive ourselves. This week, join the crusade by letting your guard down and sneaking in a little self-admiration along the way. Pick three things you like about yourself before lunchtime. Make a list of the things you’re good at. Remember the compliments people have paid you. Look in the mirror andlike what you see.

Then pay it forward – pay a compliment to someone else. Help them to see how gorgeous, wonderful and fabulous they are. Even the tiniest bit of support could make someone’s day and help them to feel good about themselves again. We’re all in the same boat, so let’s do it together. See the truth about yourself and those around you, not the laundry list of criticisms and complaints that normally run around in your head. Be bold – promise yourself a week of nothing but unconditional love for you (and anyone else that crosses your path). Wouldn’t that be just fab?

Click through to the Coach Fabulous advice column by using the link in the Favourite Sites section on the right or by going to http://coachfabulous.blogspot.com. For alert emails on new postings, email subscribe@iamfabulous.co.uk. To contact me, email coachfabulous@iamfabulous.co.uk. All material © 2007 Alison Porter. No article may be reproduced in full or in part without the express permission of the author. (Originally posted 14 May 07)