Life On Purpose

I had one of those dinner party conversations this weekend. You know, the kind that makes you lose the will to live. Whoever said that the three topics to avoid in polite conversation were religion, sex and politics was definitely onto something. I was feeling particularly mellow, having had a good old dose of spiritual stuff throughout the day – bit of meditation, some inspirational reading and looking up new developments online – so I walked straight into a conversation about the common threads between religions without paying close attention to who was participating. Big mistake. Huge.

There I was trying to gently discuss how the true essences of the various major traditions shared common ground, while one of my dinner companions was working up to a lecture on the finer points of comparative religion by stressing all the differences in dogma. We might as well have been discussing two entirely different subjects for all the good it did us. To be honest, I should have known better. If someone wants to engage in a topic on a purely intellectual level, but you’re more interested relating to a deeper spiritual truth, then you’re on a hiding to nothing. It’s not about winning or changing someone else’s view, but understanding that you’re effectively speaking two entirely different languages.

The Jesuit priest and psychologist, Anthony de Mello, has a wonderful expression about this kind of scenario, when never the twain shall meet. He said “Never try to teach a pig to sing. It upsets you and frustrates the pig.” That might sound a bit condescending, but that’s not the intention now or in the original quote. It’s simply an acknowledgement that we have our own ways of being and perceiving, so battling to join with someone in a point of view that is radically different from their own will be frustrating for both of you.

My own conclusion from the evening is that it’s simply reinforced the need for me to spend more time with people who share similar interests. I don’t want to have to hold back because I’m not with those of like mind. It’s not about always agreeing, but at a bare minimum it helps to at least be on the same page! Never underestimate the power of community in helping you to feel uplifted, confident and on purpose – being a fish out of water is not a helpful environment if you want to live an inspired life.

So, back to all that ferreting around I was doing on the weekend, during which I came across some serious gems. In an aftershow clip following a programme about Marianne Williamson’s latest book, The Age of Miracles, Oprah Winfrey gives a rare insight into her own motivation, the sense of purpose she’s had all her life and the influences behind her show.

Discussing how important it is to have a clear and positive intention in mass communication, she says “I consider this to be sacred ground. Your words have power. The way you think about your life and yourself determines your reality. You have the reality that you have because of everything that you thought, acted on and believed to be true for yourself … you are where you are because of every choice that you made, because of thoughts that you had and actions that you took.”

Talking about her own sense of purpose, she adds, “I have always seen for many years when I was doing this show, that this was only the beginning for me. People would say because of all the fame and attention that I received, ‘what more do you want – what else can you ask for?’ I’m not asking for anything else, I’ve just known that there will be more.

“I’ve always known that this show was the foundation for greater things to come … I always knew this wasn’t about me buying more shoes. I have as many shoes as any woman can handle. Even in the process of buying them, I knew there was going to come a time when it’s not going to be about shoes, about houses, about art. There is a bigger message here. I’ve always understood that. If I’d not understood that, the doors of possibility wouldn’t have opened for me …

“The same is true of your life. There is no difference between my life and your life. My mission and purpose in life is to be an inspiration … The only difference is how I choose to use my calling. Everybody has been called to do something. You wouldn’t be here unless you were called and your real role in life is to figure out what that is … If you’re in a place in your life right now where you think you don’t know [what is your calling], that’s because you’re allowing the voices of the world, the voices in your head, the voices of other people to drown out the voice of God in you, because everybody has it.

“My hope for you is that you create the miracle for yourself that you have this shift in perception that allows you to see the miracles that are already there. The real truth is that it’s like Glinda the good witch said to Dorothy – it’s my favourite spiritual teaching – ‘you always had it, my dear’ … You’ve got to get still enough to let it come through you, but it’s there. That’s what your real purpose is, to figure that out. If you align with whatever that is, when you line up with it, when you are in purpose and on purpose, the universe rises up to meet you.”

That’s a rather fabulous philosophy straight from the mouth of perhaps the world’s most successful and influential woman - definitely worth taking note! If you’d like to see the whole thing, go to www.oprah.com, select the video channel and you’ll find the aftershow clip on The Age of Miracles in the Spirit section.

This week, let’s expand our minds to include greater possibilities for ourselves than we’ve ever dared to believe. Get still and imagine what life could be like for you if this was only the beginning. What more might there be for you? If you could expand way beyond what you’ve already envisioned, what else might be possible? Give yourself some quiet time to ponder your purpose this week and to dream it into reality. What have you always felt a strong pull towards? Do you have a sense of what your calling might be. If you get stuck and think you don’t know, trick your mind out of it by saying “If I did know what my calling was, it would be …”. You’ll be amazed how well that little twist of thinking can work.

Surround yourself with friends who have similar interests and shoot the breeze. New possibilities can open up when you spark off each other. Try describing your calling to each other in a single word or ask each other to pick a word that encapsulates your purpose. Have some fun with it – humour is a great way to get some surprising results.

If you need some further inspiration to get in touch with your purpose, Oprah’s running a web event based on Eckhart Tolle’s book A New Earth: Awakening To Your Life’s Purpose, with weekly webcasts, plus video and audio downloads. You can watch it live or download it later. If you prefer just to read it, there are transcripts too, as well as a workbook for each chapter. It’s an ongoing workshop that you can join at any time at www.oprah.com.

For the Coach Fabulous archives, go to www.coachfabulous.blogspot.com and for the I Am Fabulous archives, go to www.fabcentral.blogspot.com. You can email me at coachfabulous@iamfabulous.co.uk. All material ©2008 Alison Porter. No article may be reproduced in full or in part without the express permission of the author. (Originally posted 3 Mar 08)