A Slice Of Humble Pie

I’m getting a little lesson of my own in acceptance at the moment. I could be out on the tiles sipping champagne at an awards ceremony with Daniel Craig, but I’m curled up in bed dosing myself with antibiotics instead. It’s not exactly my idea of a fabulous time, but torturing myself with thoughts of where I’d rather be won’t help. Time to make the silk purse out of the sow’s ear, I believe, so let’s check in briefly on the issue of tolerance.

Having spent an inordinate amount of time under the duvet of late, when I’ve not been racking up a rather impressive score on Facebook’s Never-Ending Movie Quiz, I’ve had one eye on the television. Sadly, there’s a huge amount of reality TV on the airwaves at the minute, full of particularly ghastly behaviour. The theme I keep noticing is an outrageous level of intolerance, particularly noticeable in those who are putting themselves out there as models of spiritual behaviour.

On America's Next Top Model there was a bible-thumping wannabe who was the bitchiest woman in town by far, yet she never seemed to grasp the fact that her behaviour was far from Christian. On I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here we have the unique spectacle of peace-loving Lynne Franks, bringing her own particular brand of New Age spirituality to the masses in a frighteningly intolerant way.

For those of you who aren’t up on that particular programme, here’s a quick rundown. Lynne was a leading PR guru here in London, whose New Age leanings were heartily lampooned in Absolutely Fabulous, where she was the inspiration for the madcap, self-obsessed character of Edina. She’s now out in Australia in a reality show that is half survival course, half popularity contest, where she leaves her fellow guests flabbergasted at her strange array of beliefs and practices.

Now, I would normally be championing the woman for her spiritual approach, but she is being so dogmatic and gung-ho in her pursuit of equality and so intent on maintaining her position as the official 'wise woman' of the group that she has become completely intolerant herself. She is utterly humourless, creates drama and conflict by seeing problems where there aren’t any and tries to force her convictions on others. Instead of being a force for good, she’s just making herself into a laughing stock. It’s terribly sad to see.

I respect the fact that Lynne has spent many years understanding, practicing and promoting spiritual traditions from all around the world, but it doesn’t excuse her intolerant approach. True spirituality springs from humility, from the knowledge that none of us have all the answers and that there’s no universal spiritual panacea. We must find our own way and when we do, we can share what we’ve experienced, but cannot expect that it will appeal to everyone else alike. As Victor Hugo wrote, “Toleration is the best religion”.

This week, cast some light on your own core beliefs and how they affect your behaviour. Do you have an open mind? Are you convinced you’re right all the time? Are you forcing others to accept your way of thinking? Has your conviction become humourless? Can you live by the spirit of the law rather than the letter of it? When we’re relaxed in ourselves and our beliefs, we don’t feel the need to police others’ behaviour. Where can you kick back this week and just let something be OK with you?

I’ll leave the final word on tolerance to Paul McCartney – not usually known as a philosopher, but in this case he has a point …

“I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.”

Click through to the Coach Fabulous advice column by using the link in the Favourite Sites section on the right or by going to http://coachfabulous.blogspot.com. For alert emails on new postings, email subscribe@iamfabulous.co.uk. To contact me, email coachfabulous@iamfabulous.co.uk. All material © 2007 Alison Porter. No article may be reproduced in full or in part without the express permission of the author. (Originally posted 19 Nov 07)