Feed Your Spirit

This is the 100th I Am Fab, so it’s probably a good time to revisit some basics. Right now I’m noticing quite a few people around me who are suffering from various forms of burnout. For some it’s just a low-level exhaustion that never seems to lift and others are failing to pay attention to the universe’s not-so-subtle attempts to get them to slow down. Here’s a clue – if you’ve got an illness or an injury, chances are you need to rest. It’s not an invitation to do as much as usual or even more!

Not only do we fail to pick up on the messages from our body along the way, even when we’re incapacitated we just can’t seem to grasp the concept that life is telling us to put our feet up for a while. There is nothing admirable about dragging yourself around, trying to keep up a gung-ho schedule when you’re meant to be taking care of yourself. We seem to have lost the art of acceptance when it comes to slowing down the pace of life and taking time out for ourselves.

We all need a balance between external activity and relaxation, and that balance is very personal. Some of us who are more extrovert find that our energy is restored by spending time with friends, yet others may find that they only truly relax on their own. It’s up to each of us to discover what replenishes our energy and to make sure that we create opportunities to take advantage of that.

There’s a pervasive belief that ‘good’ people are always giving, but the truth of the matter is that it’s not sustainable. You need to give to yourself, to fill up at the well of your own replenishment, in order to have anything left to give to others. It’s not a selfish act to take care of yourself – ultimately, it does no good to anyone to exhaust yourself and make yourself ill.

The real trick is learning to catch burnout before it rears its ugly head. When you’re in a cycle of doing everything for others and nothing for yourself, it’s easy to believe that there’s no time for anything else, especially doing what you love. That kind of manic, driven behaviour is precisely what creates a miserable life and potentially injury and illness. When we do things out of duty and sacrifice, we suck the joy out of life and end up just going through the motions.

Taking a little time out each day to feed your spirit by doing the small things that lift your mood will restore a sense of peace and make you feel connected to your purpose, ensuring that you stay energised and inspired. A poor sense of self-worth will tell you that you need to fulfil your obligations to others first, or that you don’t deserve to take time for yourself. To build a healthy self-esteem – and steer clear of burnout – you need to learn to treat yourself as well as you treat others. When you honour yourself, you are giving a clear signal to yourself and others that you value yourself and you deserve to be treated well. The more you do this, the more those self-defeating and self-destructive driven behaviours will fall away – and the happier and healthier you will be.

If you’ve already overdone it, learn to accept where you are right now. Pushing through it won’t help. If you need to slow down, then do it – and do it gracefully. Don’t sit about feeling miserable about the enforced rest. Use the time in a positive way, reading books you’ve meant to read for ages, using the time for creative pursuits or thinking deeply about where you really want your life to be heading.

This week, check the balance between activities that are outward-focusing and those that restore your energy or bring you inner peace. If it’s all for others and your schedule is jammed, start building in mini-breaks during the day to do whatever it takes to feel you’ve carved out some time for yourself. Take a walk, phone a friend, go out for lunch instead of sitting at your desk, look for a new class to sign up for, rent a movie or get a manicure. Pay attention to what helps you relieve stress: meditation, exercise, fresh air, painting, dancing, going to new places – the list is endless, so explore the ones that work for you.

We’re hunkering down for the autumn now, so this time of year is perfect to explore new hobbies and to remind yourself of your ‘someday’ list of things you’ve always wanted to do. Just make a start by trying something different and you’ll be amazed at how much better you’ll feel.
Oh, and if I Am Fab has made a difference in your life during these last hundred chronicles, drop me a line and let me know. It would be fabulous to hear your stories.

Click through to the Coach Fabulous advice column by using the link in the Favourite Sites section on the right or by going to http://coachfabulous.blogspot.com. For alert emails on new postings, email subscribe@iamfabulous.co.uk. To contact me, email coachfabulous@iamfabulous.co.uk. All material © 2007 Alison Porter. No article may be reproduced in full or in part without the express permission of the author. (Originally posted 24 Sep 07)