The Joy Of Slow

Fast isn’t necessarily better. There’s a piece of creative wisdom I picked up in the film industry, called The Production Triangle, which is illustrated with the three points of good, fast and cheap. As the saying goes, you can have any two, but you can’t have three. If it’s good and fast, it won’t be cheap. If it’s fast and cheap, it won’t be good. If it’s good and cheap, it won’t be fast. And so it is with life. When you throw fast into the mix, you’re guaranteed to be losing out on something else.

Wayne Muller, author of Sabbath Rest, reminds us that warp speed living isn’t ultimately fulfilling and that life shouldn’t just make us tired - life should make us happy. He writes “Happiness grows only in the sweet soil of time. As our time is eaten away by speed and overwork, we are less available to be surprised by joy, a sunset, a kind word … But for all our striving and accomplishment, our underlying need for happiness does not withdraw and disappear. So we pursue happiness on the run, trying to make our lives more and more efficient, squeezing every task into tighter increments, hoping to somehow ‘get’ our happiness when we are able to fit it in.”

The fast-food approach to happiness is clearly an accident waiting to happen – sooner or later we will all crash and burn when speed, not deeper fulfilment, is the goal. The need for speed masks many things, not least a deep-seated fear of rest. We fear that not being busy means not being valuable, that emptiness of time will make us face the emptiness within. To this fear, Wayne Muller responds, “If we worry that we are not good or whole inside, we will be reluctant to stop and rest, afraid we will find a lurking emptiness, a terrible aching void with nothing to fill it … But this emptiness has nothing at all to do with our value or our worth. All life has emptiness at its core … without that emptiness, we are clogged and unable to give birth to music, love or kindness. All creation springs from emptiness.”

The message is clear – happiness and creativity flourish when life is lived at a more human and humane pace. Italy, the spiritual home of the joy of slow, has given birth to the Slow Food movement, which has spread to over 100 countries throughout the globe. Its mission is to ‘protect the pleasures of the table from the homogenisation of modern fast food and life’. Local produce, recipes and traditions are promoted and quality is paramount. Slow Food is about the experience, not the convenience. From Slow Food has grown CittaSlow, the movement for Slow Cities – places where quality of life is the key.

The CittaSlow manifesto describes Slow Cities as places where “men are still curious of the old times, towns rich of theatres, squares, cafes, workshops, restaurants and spiritual places, towns with untouched landscapes and charming craftsman where people are still able to recognize the slow course of the seasons and their genuine products respecting tastes, health and spontaneous customs”. Doesn’t that sound like a recipe for heaven?

Slow isn’t just about where we live and what we eat – it’s about how we relate to each other. Oriah Mountain Dreamer wrote the prose poem, The Invitation, in a moment of frustration after attending yet another social gathering where small talk and lack of any real connection were the order of the day. It begins: “It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.”

I was reminded of this when talking with a friend about the single life and how the ghastly array of options such as speed dating fill me with absolute dread. Rather like Wayne Muller’s description of chasing happiness on the run, surely speed dating defeats the objective of making any real connection with another person simply by its nature. In the dating equivalent of the Gong Show, it’s impossible to get beyond anything but superficialities in three minutes, so there’s no opportunity to get to know true character or qualities. It’s like getting a McDonalds when you really want fillet steak – it meets a need, but there can be no lasting pleasure in it.

Never one to pass up an opportunity for a social occasion where champagne can reasonably be imbibed, I’ve been inspired to collaborate with some friends to create a Slow Dating evening of leisurely conversation and wonderful food in the relaxed ambience of Annie’s in West London. We’re getting everyone to recycle an ex - or bring along a friend of the opposite sex who’s great company - for a laid-back evening where the priority is to get to know some interesting, fun new people. If there’s attraction in the air that’s a bonus - at least you’ll get to explore that without someone ringing a bell and calling time on the encounter! It’s in the planning stages now, but if you’re in this neck of the woods and like the sound of Slow Dating, email me at iamfabulousco@aol.com for details.

This week’s I Am Fab challenge is to explore the joys of slow. Take the long way to work one day, stop for a coffee, or have a leisurely lunch with friends. Try out a new recipe where the quality of ingredients is what counts, not how long it takes to make. If you normally bounce about at the gym like a cardio version of the Eveready Bunny, try taking a yoga or meditation class. Drop the power-walking in favour of a slow stroll. Go to a local farmer’s market instead of the supermarket. Create some space for emptiness and give yourself a few hours off for simply doing nothing. Pretend you’re on holiday – you know what to do.

Coach Fabulous is now online and updated every Thursday at http://coachfabulous.blogspot.com. You can also use the link in the Favourite Sites section on the right. For alert emails on new postings, with added inspirations and confidence tips, send a blank email to IAmFabulousCo@aol.com with 'Subscribe' in the title field.
All material © 2006 Alison Porter. No article may be reproduced in full or in part without the express permission of the author. (Originally posted 1 May 06)