Find The Magic

Keeping your spirits high is one of the biggest challenges in life, especially when you have a to-do list that stretches into infinity and time seems in short supply. Yet that’s exactly when you need to indulge in the things that uplift you and remind you that life can be enjoyable and not just an endless marathon of tasks. I am naturally a major offender when it comes to taking life seriously, robbing it of its natural joy, but I have picked up a few good habits along the way. If you want to get out of grumpy mode and into a fun frame of mind here are a few clues:

Be Tolerant With Yourself – first and foremost, get off your own case. Yes, there may be a million things to do and you may be pressed for time, but beating yourself up about it isn’t exactly going to help. You’ll have more energy and accomplish more in a shorter time if you are happier and relaxed. Take a break, try delegating and above all, give up guilt. Last time I looked, completing a to-do list was not one of the 10 Commandments. Cut yourself some slack.

Find Something to Make You Laugh – There’s enough silly stuff floating around on the internet to make even the most curmudgeonly of us crack a smile. My number one game of the season is Polar Bear Parking. Click the link on Favourite Sites and give it a try. Phone a friend who’s good for a giggle, go to a comedy club or see a funny film. Not only will it lift your spirits, but it can even help you drop a few pounds, according to Jon Gordon, author of The 10-Minute Energy Solution. He says, “Positive energy and positive thinking cause you to laugh more, which reduces stress and levels of cortisol in your blood and increases levels of your brain’s natural anti-depressant, serotonin. When you think and feel good you are more likely to be active, which also helps you lose weight.” I kid you not.

Tap Into Your Childlike Self – You used to find the world a magical place and that part of you still exists. Christmas is the perfect time to remember the sights and sounds of childhood winters and what made them special. I used to love the fantasy window displays in department stores, with Snow Queen themes and animated characters. No place in the world does this better than New York and now you don’t even have to go there - just log on to FredFlare for the best-dressed windows in town, from Barney's to Saks via Bergdorf Goodman and Bloomies. (See Favourite Sites for link.) Go and see Narnia or book tickets for The Nutcracker. Revisit old favourites and find the magic again.

Fake It ‘Til You Make It – It may be hard to go from stressed-out to blissed-out in 60 seconds, but if you suddenly had a wonderful surprise, that’s exactly what would happen. Your mood can change at your will, if you’ll just put your mind to it. Try it. Call to mind something fabulous that has happened to you in the past (an achievement, a romantic evening or a mad, crazy day with friends) and really fully experience the memory: how you felt, who you were with and how exciting that was. Hold that thought and let it lift your mood. Next time you feel yourself wilting, use it again or find another one. Be creative.

Don’t Even Go There – I call this the Jerry Springer moment. Use it whenever you have a persistent, nagging habit of downbeat thoughts and nasty internal dialogue. You know the drill, the kind of stuff you use on yourself when something goes wrong: self-attack and criticism. It usually starts with something like ‘I shouldn’t have done that’ and by the time you’re finished with yourself your self-confidence is on the floor. Catch yourself doing it and then act like a Jerry Springer audience member … start saying ‘don’t even go there’ and ‘talk to the hand’ to yourself with total attitude. It will make you laugh and defuse that self-defeating cycle of inner abuse. It may be silly, but it definitely works. Then use a Fake It ‘Til You Make It memory to really complete the job and return to your fabulous, upbeat self.

Fabulousness is not about the pressure to be perfect or pleasing everyone else, it’s about being genuinely relaxed and at peace with who you are. As the Buddha said, “If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” It’s also about not taking life too seriously and learning to lean back and enjoy the ride. Get playful and get fabulous. A furrowed brow is definitely anti-fab!

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All material © 2005 Alison Porter. No article may be reproduced in full or in part without the express permission of the author. (Originaly posted 12 Dec 05)