In Praise Of Older Women

When Desperate Housewives hits our small screens again I find it a cause for celebration, ie an excuse for cake and champagne. It’s not just because the plot twists and turns enough to make you dizzy or because the ladies of Wisteria Lane are the most glamorously-dressed suburbanites in Christendom, but because it gives a rare sighting of that endangered species in the entertainment world – an attractive, vibrant woman over 40.

Goldie Hawn was right on the money when she said that there were only three ages for women in Hollywood: “Babe, District Attorney and Driving Miss Daisy”. Clearly, once you’re past the babe era - a very small window of opportunity - only sensible shoes beckon if you’re a jobbing actress in Tinseltown. Luckily, a few glorious women are breaking the mould and trailblazing a new view of feminine charms after forty. Sharon Stone, who’s been a late bloomer in the Hollywood stakes, is one of those women. “I don’t believe makeup and the right hairstyle alone can make a woman beautiful”, she says, candidly. “The most radiant woman in the room is the one full of life and experience.”

La-La Land’s big hitters are beginning to agree with her. The latest issue of Sly, Sylvester Stallone’s new magazine, features a poll of Hollywood’s Hottest Women Over 40, which is a ground-breaking move in itself. Ms Stone tops the list and is in good company with Julianne Moore, Diane Lane and Gong Li, among others. What is truly fabulous is that while all the women on the list are beautiful, they are culturally very diverse and are actresses who choose intelligent roles, successful businesswomen like Elle MacPherson or real survivors and comeback queens like Tina Turner. Sly may be a bit of a himbo, but he didn’t pick any bimbos for his Top 10.

Whatever age you might be, it’s entirely inspirational to know that your future includes ever-expanding horizons for women of a certain age. As recently as the 70s it was considered shocking for Elizabeth Taylor to throw the party to end all parties for her 40th birthday. Women wouldn’t even admit to being 40 then, let alone publicly celebrate it. Now we have the Desperates on the box flying the flag for the fab forties and truly great actresses like Susan Sarandon and Helen Mirren refusing to fit the grande dame mould and continuing to play sexy leading ladies as they enter their sixties. Culturally - as life tends to imitates art - these are hopeful trends. They’re not yet the norm, though, as Susan Sarandon points out: “It’s still not easy to find roles that offer more complex images of women … Do you really have to be the ice queen intellectual or the slut whore? Isn’t there some way to be both?”

She adds, “I look forward to being older, when what you look like becomes less and less an issue and who you are becomes the point”. Go, girl. That’s the voice of fabulousness speaking. What is totally heartening is that this brand of forthright, ageless and effortless attractiveness is appreciated by more men than you might expect.

Rowan Pelling, former editor of the Erotic Review, wrote recently in You magazine: “Contrary to popular belief, few men are rich, crass or insecure enough to insist on dolly-bird partners. A male friend who lectures at Cambridge University told me, ‘I look at my female students and appreciate their youth and beauty, but never find them sexually attractive. For me, the essence of sexual allure is wit, wisdom and experience’.”

So ladies, as much as we might have begun to believe that our salvation will come from age-defying potions or plastic surgery, it’s reassuring to know that our powers of seduction arise from the ageless qualities of an enquiring mind, humour and personal charm and not from a cellulite-free pair of thighs. Don’t sell yourself short. The totality of who you are is what makes you fabulous at any stage of your life. Start celebrating it!

Seek out fabulous women to admire. They don’t have to be famous. Look around you and you’ll find them everywhere. There’s one very stylish older lady I’ve noticed at Pilates classes, whose grey hair is always swept up in an impeccable chignon and whose blue eyes sparkle with intelligence. I don’t know anything about her, but her poise is evident for all to see. She’s not only elegant, but she looks like the kind of person you’d want to get to know. She looks like she’d have some great stories to tell.

Let’s all become that kind of woman, whose inner light is what draws you in, and let’s all really embrace that about ourselves. That really would be fabulous.

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All material © 2006 Alison Porter. No article may be reproduced in full or in part without the express permission of the author. (Originally posted 23 Jan 06)